Putting a pen tip to paper as tears fall, smudging the ink, spreading the pain. That’s what I want to see as I pour out my feelings. That is what I realised as I clicked the little pencil icon to start a new post. So here, I go. I’ll put away the laptop and pull out the notebook I barely ever write in, that I almost never remember exists in moments like these, even though moments like these are what that mostly blank notebook is reserved for. Ofcourse, I only have a ball point or so nearby, so I doubt the ink will spread from my tears. Maybe writing will stem my tears anyway, give my pain a different outlet. Off to get that notebook now.